It has been a while since I wrote my last story because I was busy watching movies and that was when I ran into ‘Parking’. As a fan of realistic drama driven by a strong message, I enjoyed it. This movie beautifully encapsulates how far two individuals can push for the sake of their egos.
That reminded me of two incidents that I encountered in my life from two different perspectives —
#1 As A Spectator
This may not be much about ego as much as it is about a misunderstanding and an emotional reaction between two of my closest friends. They had a moment and one of them chose to react physically but the other chose not to. I have deep respect for both of them not just because they’re my friends but because they’re close friends with each other…to this date. For a more detailed story, I’d suggest you read my story written specifically on this here.
#2 As A Participant
This incident is the core reason why I chose to write this story to share it with the world. I had an altercation with one of my relatives. My relative was so motivated to prove that I was wrong in one of the previous conversations that I had with them that they were willing to go to any extent including sacrificing our entire relationship — just to prove that they were right. Soon after I realized that —
This argument will not be relevant a year from now…heck, a month from now so why fight like this?
I called out ‘I was wrong, I’m sorry…Can we please move on now?’ That sent them packing and we were done after almost 30 minutes of arguing. I’m sure you’re thinking —
So, who was right? I was not worried even if I was completely wrong. Besides, finding out might kill whatever we are trying to save here.
Should I back out of every argument like this? Absolutely not. I would suggest taking a step back before going all out.
Ask yourself —
- Is this conversation worth damaging my relationship with this individual and everyone associated with them?
- Will this conversation matter a year or probably five years from now?
- Am I putting my mental health below my ego and pride to show everyone who is the best?
If that’s a yes, yes and yes…you may continue. But I’d suggest not to unless you have to. Here’s why in a line —
Experience may be associated with age but maturity is not
You have every right to act maturely in conversations like these — irrespective of age. It does not arrive overnight but it is possible to get there. It pays dividends in the long run both to your health and to your relationships.
Think about it —
Do you want to go to bed at night thinking that you were right about something with a lost relationship?
Do you want to sleep happily knowing that you handled an argument so well that you have potentially saved a relationship and everyone around it?
Please make wise choices as it is something that would affect not just you but everyone around you. I remember my father was very proud of me that I took the right call — it is one of the best feelings one could ever experience.
My father was right when he said —
It takes two to cause a wreck.
One may initiate but the other need not pile on top of that. This saves lives and for better context, please watch the movie (It is available on Hotstar with subtitles if you’re in India; not sponsored, I’m not that big yet).